Sunday, 20 April 2014

To My Little One

In this moment, none exist but you and me, little one. precious, beautiful baby. Full of love, and life, and happiness, and hope. You, with your downy hair and sparkling eyes and million-watt smile. You, with the power to erase all darkness from my soul. You, His most perfect creation.

This moment contains none but me and you.

Me...your cynical, jaded mother. Full of perfectionism, sarcasm, fear, mistrust. Me, with my prematurely greying hair and tired eyes and hollow smile. Me, the ultimate pessimist.

What will I do, I wonder already, when you are all grown up and ready to fly? How will I ever let you go, my darling angel?
I know I will, I know I must, but it hurts to think about it, nonetheless.

Perhaps more importantly, what will YOU do, my dearest child, when this world breaks your heart? Will you be strong in the face of brittle gaiety disguised as joy? Will you stand your ground against loneliness garbed as solitude? And will you save yourself from the gaping black-hole called falling in love?

What will you do, dear one, when there is no Ammi to kiss the tears away; no Abbu to save the day?

But just for you, in this moment, I will be an optimist - I hope your world is much better, much kinder than mine ever will be. And I hope, with all my heart, that you will be strong, and find solace in none but Him - your truest, most bestest of friends.

I love you, Baby Girl. More than you'll ever know.